"You are a soul. You have a body."
I had heard this ancient expression many years ago and I never forgot it. Those eight words that together make one of the most gorgeous sentiments I have ever come across (thank you Nili Cousins, as you were the one who vocalized it when I finally heard it).
If only it was so easy to honor myself with the remembrance of it every day. To live as if I was a soul and to treat that soul the way a mother would treat their new born baby, more precious than anything she had ever been entrusted with in her life.
But instead I often beat myself up, especially when it comes to the lumps and bumps that I don't yet love on my body.
We are all a work in progress, I know.
I've been on a lot of diets in my lifetime. I've logged many hours at "the gym."
I've moved on from diets and gyms to "healthy eating" and "movement that I love" (aka yoga and walking in nature). But it's still kinda the same thing-the drive to want to change myself physically.
And of course, feel good. Everybody wants to feel good.
And most people, it seems, also want to shape shift.
I'm one of those people too. And that could make a person absolutely insane.
Like miss-out-on-your-entire-life level of insanity.
So 14 weeks ago I signed up for a different kind of experience, because I liked the teacher and I had the time and because it seemed interesting.
Because the name of the course had the word "healing" in it and I knew that I could use some of that.
In the course I heard things like, "You are not broken" and "You are perfect as you are right now. Nothing NEEDS to change."
This confused me.
I didn't know how to make sense of it in the context of my always wanting to do better, be better, lose weight, gain muscle, have more energy, change my body . . . the list goes on. But also in the context of the fact that the healing program strongly discouraged the eating of sugar and flour.
If there's nothing wrong with me, if I'm not broken, than why can't I eat sugar and flour?
So I did the only thing that I could do with this information: I sat with it.
For 14 weeks, I sat with it.
And then a small miracle occurred. I came across the following quote:
"It is our desire that you become one who is happy with that which you are and with that which you have-while at the same time being eager for more. That is the optimal creative vantage point: to stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation-with no feelings of impatience, doubt, or unworthiness hindering the receiving of it . . . " Esther and Jerry Hicks
And finally, understanding came.
We can be happy with our bodies right now, we can love them as the vehicle that houses our souls, and still eagerly and optimistically look forward to a healthier future. We don't have to hate on ourselves to improve the way that we eat or the frequency and intensity that we move.
In fact, we MUST love the body that we have right now or we get in the way of allowing positive physical AND mental changes to occur. Our negativity about our physical selves can make it impossible to receive the good that there for all of us.
Believe me, we all struggle with this. But I'm starting to catch on!
I call this blog "Healthy Girl's Kitchen." I take the word "healthy" very seriously. I don't simply mean healthy in the body. I just as strongly feel that this kitchen must create recipes for a healthy mind. It's a subject that is far more personal, but perhaps more interesting and engaging than any new recipe that I could concoct, photograph and tempt you with.
I invite you into a complete conversation about health. I hope you will join me.