I can't even begin to tell you the amount of self-hatred and emotional battery that I see in sugar and food addiction recovery groups on Facebook.
So much, "I ate something I shouldn't have eaten yesterday, so today is my Day 1 again."
Oil, salt, sugar, flour, artificial sweeteners, high fat plant foods, high calorie plant foods. The list of ways to harm ourselves with food seems to continue to increase daily.
And the worst is the self-doubt that comes with the slip ups. Too many slip ups and most people feel like giving up. I suspect most people just do eventually give up and stop trying, at least for a good long while. I mean, who wants to feel like a failure every day?
I eff up, a lot.
More times than I care to admit, but I'd be a big fat liar if I told you that recovery has been a straight line.
I don't beat myself up. That's the trick to this whole thing. NEVER EVER EVER beat yourself up.
The answer to everything in this life is LOVE.
What are you thinking? Are you thinking that this blogger is wacky?
Hear me out.
Self-love is never a bad thing.
Here's just one of the problems with seeking perfection: More often than not, we use our inability to be perfect as our excuse for quitting.
Thank you Dr. Judith Beck and The Beck Diet Solution.
Do not let perfection be the enemy of the good.
This is so important to your recovery that it cannot be overstated, so I'm going to say it again, this time in all caps.
DO NOT LET PERFECTION BE THE ENEMY OF THE GOOD.
My husband taught me that. Thank you Randy Solganik.
What if you tried handling your imperfections with with curiosity and compassion instead? What if you asked yourself:
Why did it happen?
What can I do differently next time?
What boundaries do I need to put in place? What walls?
Thank you John Pierre. Thank you Susan Pierce Thompson. Thank you Molly Larkin.
You can ask yourself what thoughts you had that led up to your taking the "non-compliant" bite in the first place?
It's those thoughts that we need to dig out, recognize, write down, think about, mull over. Those thoughts are holding us back. They aren't even true. They are just thoughts. AKA limiting beliefs.
And the cure to a limiting belief is to make a new belief (aka story) for yourself. And to begin to own that new belief.
Thank you Handel Group. We all need to make excuse hunting a sport!
Now I know what you might be thinking. Wendy just gave me permission to eat sugar and flour sometimes! To have a glass of wine when I go out with friends! Yipee.
No. That's not at all what I'm saying.
Because here is the most important question of them all:
What was my body trying to tell me that it needed in that moment?
Could I have given my body what it was crying out to me for?
Relief from anxiety
Relief from stress
I'm simply saying this:
When you slip up, which you will do, because you are a HUMAN and not a God, you might want t consider ceasing beating yourself up about it, because feeling bad and icky and terrible never helped anyone recover from any addiction. Punishing yourself is most likely not the answer.
Why? Because that's a stressful, uncomfortable feeling and it's exactly that same stress that leads to the using food as a drug problem to begin with.
Thank you Dr. Marc Schoen and Your Survival Instinct is Killing You.
So it is your sacred spiritual duty to break this chain right now.
End the violence.
Meet yourself where you are at right now with love.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
As you can see, it's taken a village to get me to the place that I am in my life and head with my addiction. It's been no small feat, but I really feel like I am making great strides! I'm sure that my future is very, very bright.
If you're looking for the rest of my series on sugar addiction, catch all of the posts here:
Part I-Why Vegetables are Not the Cause of Your Sugar Addiction
Part II-Why Going Sugar, Alcohol and Flour Free is Something Worth Considering
Part III-How Your Candy Coated Environment Determines Your Outcome
Part IV-Japanese Sweet and Other Potatoes
Part V-Join a Support Group
Part VI-Perfection Not Required
ALWAYS REMEMBER: THE ONLY WAY TO FAIL IS TO QUIT.
I haven't been perfect, I'm still not perfect, and look at where it's gotten me now. So I want to remind you once more to never let perfection be the enemy of the good!