A few weeks ago at not-my-normal Weight Watchers meeting, Lisa, the "other" WW meeting leader asked me if I had started to think about my goal weight. I really can't remember what my answer was, because the important thing about that moment was what she said to me. "Your goal," she expressed "is not a number on the scale that you preselect for yourself. It's a place that you come to and find yourself feeling good about how you feel. When you are there, you will know it, and that is the weight that you declare is your goal."
WOW. That is so not what I thought. All along I assumed that my goal should be this number or that number on the scale, and that I should die trying to get there (not really). But when she put it in those terms, everything suddenly seemed right in the world.
So the following week I walked in to my regular WW meeting and declared that I was at my goal weight RIGHT NOW. Hooray for me (not really)! And baloons fell out of the ceiling (really).
That was almost exactly one week ago. And it's been hell ever since. Suddenly, the game was over. A new phase was supposed to begin. One in which I eat more food (not too much) and watch the scale to see how my body reacts. I'm still supposed to stick to my basic plan--which for me involves counting points. But my mind has been playing tricks on me. Asking me if maybe there is another way. "Just eat healthy food, Wendy" it says. "You'll see, you won't gain weight if you eat mostly vegan. You can do this without having to carefully analyze your food and count points. What a drag that is!"
Well I'll tell you what is really a drag. Seeing the scale register a 3 pound weight gain in 4 days when you have been "eating healthy" and exercising a lot.
So, after the initial shock of it all, I came to some realizations.
Realization Number 1: Maintaining a healthy weight is no different than losing weight. And if you think it is, boy are you in for a rude awakening. Get used to counting those points, logging your food, pre-planning what you eat, or whatever it is that got you to that goal. Sure, you can eat about 200-250 more calories per day and not gain weight. But everything else needs to remain exactly the same. It's a bummer, but I've got to get over it.
Realization Number 2: The "game" of losing weight is over. The excitement of the "score" is gone. I love winning. Who doesn't? It's really fun. Especially when this game has no losers. I've got to find a new excitement to keep me going. A new reason to count those points, log my food, pre-plan what I eat and exercise almost every day. Maybe that new game is this blog. Is it enough? I'll find out.